This resonates a lot. When I was young, I imagined achieving a positive impact early on and then…nothing. I didn’t really have a vision for my 30s and now that I’m “in it” and still feel like I’m trying to walk the path rather than have done everything I dreamed of when young and seeing such a range in my peers and decline in my elders… it’s challenging and unexpected to say the least.
For me, I am trying to embrace learning and the journey more and focus less on outcomes and relative success but it’s easier said than done.
And as someone who is fundamentally ambitious and still wants to make a large positive impact on the world, how do I reconcile that?
This is a lot of half-baked thoughts but to sum it up: I hear and see you. And your words and journey resonate a lot.
I've had this open on my browser for a bit, thinking about how to react to it.
I don't know if you need to hear this, but you are right where you need to be. I understand the desire to compare oneself to others. But I don't know if anything good has come from it.
If you want to spin on your head, go spin on your head. If you want to get married, go get married. We chase our curiosity as life unfolds in front of us.
I got married at 35, and am 39 now getting ready to introduce a baby boy to the world. Definitely later than my parents, and if we're talking peer cohorts, on the later side of that too. I take the good (wealthier, less financial stress) with the bad (I'm going to physically slow down as they hit peak childhood).
Just keep going, even if it means you find your curiosity take you elsewhere.
Thanks for that. I’m sure on some level I just need some compassion, but I feel mixed. I enjoy a lot of things, and comparison is definitely the their of joy.
But there are real boundaries in how we spend our time and I think there’s real value in trying to understand those and choose. Without understanding there is no consent.
After writing this, I found this post which feels similar in flavor from someone a little further down the line than me. I can’t help but feel like there’s some piece of wisdom a lot of us missed.
This resonates a lot. When I was young, I imagined achieving a positive impact early on and then…nothing. I didn’t really have a vision for my 30s and now that I’m “in it” and still feel like I’m trying to walk the path rather than have done everything I dreamed of when young and seeing such a range in my peers and decline in my elders… it’s challenging and unexpected to say the least.
For me, I am trying to embrace learning and the journey more and focus less on outcomes and relative success but it’s easier said than done.
And as someone who is fundamentally ambitious and still wants to make a large positive impact on the world, how do I reconcile that?
This is a lot of half-baked thoughts but to sum it up: I hear and see you. And your words and journey resonate a lot.
I've had this open on my browser for a bit, thinking about how to react to it.
I don't know if you need to hear this, but you are right where you need to be. I understand the desire to compare oneself to others. But I don't know if anything good has come from it.
If you want to spin on your head, go spin on your head. If you want to get married, go get married. We chase our curiosity as life unfolds in front of us.
I got married at 35, and am 39 now getting ready to introduce a baby boy to the world. Definitely later than my parents, and if we're talking peer cohorts, on the later side of that too. I take the good (wealthier, less financial stress) with the bad (I'm going to physically slow down as they hit peak childhood).
Just keep going, even if it means you find your curiosity take you elsewhere.
Thanks for that. I’m sure on some level I just need some compassion, but I feel mixed. I enjoy a lot of things, and comparison is definitely the their of joy.
But there are real boundaries in how we spend our time and I think there’s real value in trying to understand those and choose. Without understanding there is no consent.
After writing this, I found this post which feels similar in flavor from someone a little further down the line than me. I can’t help but feel like there’s some piece of wisdom a lot of us missed.
https://moultano.wordpress.com/2025/12/30/children-and-helical-time/
Would love to chat further about this